December 8 & 9, 2017
Brain fog is real. People talk about pregnancy brain and I kind of assumed that would go away once the babies were born. I don't think it's better yet.
I managed to write about Friday, December 8th events under yesterday's post that should have been about Thursday, December 7th. Here's the thing about Thursday - it really, really was more of the same. As in, basically a repeat of Wednesday. What I posted yesterday was all stuff that happened Friday. So, if you would like a recap of Friday's events, check out yesterday's post. I'm going to go ahead and write about the events that happened on Saturday, December 9th, which was the day Elias and Evelyn were born.
Thursday overnight into Friday morning was when things started getting, let's say, interesting. Friday overnight into Saturday? Things got rough.
By Saturday morning I had gained another 12 pounds and could barely bend my legs to get out of the hospital bed to go to the bathroom. Thankfully I had taken off my wedding rings on Wednesday, because I would not have been able to get them off at this point. The edema was real and terrible. I was also in a lot of pain. My back hurt so badly that I actually asked my day shift nurse if I was having more contractions. I wasn't having anymore than I had been having. That really should have been something that alerted me, but as I said in an earlier post, my brain's entire focus was, "These babies must stay inside and grow."
We had a lot of visitors on Saturday. We had family and friends drive in from out of town and even from out of state. In between visits at the hospital, they all worked together at our house because I had a list of stuff that I had really wanted to do while on bed rest/before the babies arrived. When we did have visitors, I was having a lot of trouble talking. At the beginning of the day, I could speak relatively normally, but by afternoon, I was having to pause and gasp between phrases of four-five words. The pain in my back was ever increasing. I was lying on my left side as much as possible because that was better for the babies. That seemed to make the back pain worse, but that was better for the babies, so that's what I did. I was determined not to be a wimp. To be fair, I also didn't have a frame of reference. I had heard that multiples' pregnancies were uncomfortable, so I thought being uncomfortable was the expectation. I wasn't going to be that whiny person constantly talking about what I assumed was normal.
Blake knew I wasn't feeling well and although I tried to send him home about eight, he said he wanted to stay. Gwen, Blake's mom, and his aunt and cousin had headed back to Fort Smith and my parents had gone to a Christmas party for their small group so I could get some rest.
God provided for us in so many ways that day. My doctor, Dr. Mason, was on call that weekend so he was still the one taking care of me. Our night nurse that evening was a nurse that I had had two other nights since being in the hospital. In fact, she was our nurse the first night I was in the hospital - the one who was able to get the order for me to have Zofran and not throw up! Her name was Heather and she was (as I came to expect from Willowcreek) fabulous. She knew how difficult it was to try to get 20 continuous minutes of monitoring on both babies, so about 8:00 she settled into a chair beside my hospital bed and said she would stay in there the entire time rather than trying to leave only to have one of the babies move. Blake was sitting in a chair to the right of me and I was gripping his hand. It was probably about 15 minutes of trying to get both babies' picked up and Blake told Heather that something was wrong. He told her that I would probably be mad for saying anything (and I was), but I was squeezing his hand in a death grip because I was in so much pain. Because she had been my nurse two other nights, she knew something was wrong. She immediately went to go get Dr. Mason from the on call room and Blake called our parents to let them know they needed to come to the hospital. Throughout this time, it was becoming harder and harder to breathe and I was in more and more pain.
Dr. Mason came in with Heather about 8:30 and everything happened very quickly after that. I was immediately started on oxygen and had three or four nurses and doctors in the room prepping me for surgery. I still remember our anesthesiologist saying, "Normally I have a good bedside manner, but I don't have time for that - I have some questions and you need to answer them quickly if you want to be awake for the surgery." They were timing during the entire prep period, someone took Blake to go get him ready, and they took me back to the operating room. They sat me up on a second table to give me the spinal. I remember the anesthesiologist telling me to take a deep breath and gasping out, "I can't." As soon as I was numb and transferred to the operating table, Blake came in and the NICU teams came in with two warming isolettes/work areas. I remember our anesthesiologist standing by my head and asking me if I was feeling any pain. The only thing that I felt at that point was the blood pressure cuff that was squeezing the same arm that had the IV and I couldn't feel my right hand periodically. So, he fixed that. Throughout the surgery, I was on oxygen. Dr. Mason warned us that the babies might not cry because they were so early. But at 9:15, Elias Boone Sebo was delivered and I heard him cry. They immediately took him to the warming isolette and starting working on him. I couldn't see him, but hearing that cry was everything. Blake was over watching them work on Eli while Dr. Mason was working on me. I remember our anesthesiologist grabbing Blake because he was trying to back away from the team working on Eli and almost backed into Dr. Mason who was operating on me. At 9:16, Evelyn Harper Sebo was delivered and I heard her beautiful cry, too. I didn't know this because I couldn't see them, but they actually put each baby in a plastic bag to help them retain their body heat. Dr. Lin (the neonatologist), the NICU team, and Blake went upstairs to the NICU. The back, emergency elevator to the NICU was apparently beside the waiting area where our families were waiting for news. The team paused briefly to let our families see the babies and then Blake, the babies, and the team went upstairs. I don't have all of the details about what happened next because I didn't see the babies after that for almost 24 hours.
I was taken to recovery where they tried to stabilize my breathing. I remember them telling me that I needed to take deep breaths and I just couldn't. I also remember being freezing cold. That actually continued for weeks after the delivery. Most people I had talked to about postpartum told me they were so hot from the hormone changes after being pregnant, but I was constantly frozen. After about an hour, Blake was able to make his way back downstairs, talk to our families, and then come back to where I was. One of our NICU nurses, Heather Duncan (a different Heather than my maternity nurse) had written the babies weights, lengths, and head circumferences on a sticky note and Blake had that for me. They were doing tests on the babies and hooking them up to everything and it was just something that parents didn't need to see. I remember telling Blake to text people and let them know that the babies had been born. Blake went back upstairs and my mom came back to stay with me. Dr. Mason told us that I would be on 24 hours of magnesium as treatment for the preeclampsia. I wouldn't be able to get up out of bed for that amount of time. The only thing I could think was that meant I wouldn't be able to see my babies. I was in recovery for three hours and was finally stable enough to go back to my room, but was still on oxygen. My nurse, Heather, was there and continued to be wonderful. She taught me how to use the breast pump. I started pumping right away and pumped every 2-3 hours after that for the next four months. Pumping was something tangible that I could do for my babies even while I wasn't able to be physically near them. Those hours without seeing them were horrible. I felt like I couldn't breathe - literally and figuratively at that point. But I was determined to do everything that I could to see them as soon as possible.
I managed to write about Friday, December 8th events under yesterday's post that should have been about Thursday, December 7th. Here's the thing about Thursday - it really, really was more of the same. As in, basically a repeat of Wednesday. What I posted yesterday was all stuff that happened Friday. So, if you would like a recap of Friday's events, check out yesterday's post. I'm going to go ahead and write about the events that happened on Saturday, December 9th, which was the day Elias and Evelyn were born.
Thursday overnight into Friday morning was when things started getting, let's say, interesting. Friday overnight into Saturday? Things got rough.
By Saturday morning I had gained another 12 pounds and could barely bend my legs to get out of the hospital bed to go to the bathroom. Thankfully I had taken off my wedding rings on Wednesday, because I would not have been able to get them off at this point. The edema was real and terrible. I was also in a lot of pain. My back hurt so badly that I actually asked my day shift nurse if I was having more contractions. I wasn't having anymore than I had been having. That really should have been something that alerted me, but as I said in an earlier post, my brain's entire focus was, "These babies must stay inside and grow."
We had a lot of visitors on Saturday. We had family and friends drive in from out of town and even from out of state. In between visits at the hospital, they all worked together at our house because I had a list of stuff that I had really wanted to do while on bed rest/before the babies arrived. When we did have visitors, I was having a lot of trouble talking. At the beginning of the day, I could speak relatively normally, but by afternoon, I was having to pause and gasp between phrases of four-five words. The pain in my back was ever increasing. I was lying on my left side as much as possible because that was better for the babies. That seemed to make the back pain worse, but that was better for the babies, so that's what I did. I was determined not to be a wimp. To be fair, I also didn't have a frame of reference. I had heard that multiples' pregnancies were uncomfortable, so I thought being uncomfortable was the expectation. I wasn't going to be that whiny person constantly talking about what I assumed was normal.
Blake knew I wasn't feeling well and although I tried to send him home about eight, he said he wanted to stay. Gwen, Blake's mom, and his aunt and cousin had headed back to Fort Smith and my parents had gone to a Christmas party for their small group so I could get some rest.
God provided for us in so many ways that day. My doctor, Dr. Mason, was on call that weekend so he was still the one taking care of me. Our night nurse that evening was a nurse that I had had two other nights since being in the hospital. In fact, she was our nurse the first night I was in the hospital - the one who was able to get the order for me to have Zofran and not throw up! Her name was Heather and she was (as I came to expect from Willowcreek) fabulous. She knew how difficult it was to try to get 20 continuous minutes of monitoring on both babies, so about 8:00 she settled into a chair beside my hospital bed and said she would stay in there the entire time rather than trying to leave only to have one of the babies move. Blake was sitting in a chair to the right of me and I was gripping his hand. It was probably about 15 minutes of trying to get both babies' picked up and Blake told Heather that something was wrong. He told her that I would probably be mad for saying anything (and I was), but I was squeezing his hand in a death grip because I was in so much pain. Because she had been my nurse two other nights, she knew something was wrong. She immediately went to go get Dr. Mason from the on call room and Blake called our parents to let them know they needed to come to the hospital. Throughout this time, it was becoming harder and harder to breathe and I was in more and more pain.
Dr. Mason came in with Heather about 8:30 and everything happened very quickly after that. I was immediately started on oxygen and had three or four nurses and doctors in the room prepping me for surgery. I still remember our anesthesiologist saying, "Normally I have a good bedside manner, but I don't have time for that - I have some questions and you need to answer them quickly if you want to be awake for the surgery." They were timing during the entire prep period, someone took Blake to go get him ready, and they took me back to the operating room. They sat me up on a second table to give me the spinal. I remember the anesthesiologist telling me to take a deep breath and gasping out, "I can't." As soon as I was numb and transferred to the operating table, Blake came in and the NICU teams came in with two warming isolettes/work areas. I remember our anesthesiologist standing by my head and asking me if I was feeling any pain. The only thing that I felt at that point was the blood pressure cuff that was squeezing the same arm that had the IV and I couldn't feel my right hand periodically. So, he fixed that. Throughout the surgery, I was on oxygen. Dr. Mason warned us that the babies might not cry because they were so early. But at 9:15, Elias Boone Sebo was delivered and I heard him cry. They immediately took him to the warming isolette and starting working on him. I couldn't see him, but hearing that cry was everything. Blake was over watching them work on Eli while Dr. Mason was working on me. I remember our anesthesiologist grabbing Blake because he was trying to back away from the team working on Eli and almost backed into Dr. Mason who was operating on me. At 9:16, Evelyn Harper Sebo was delivered and I heard her beautiful cry, too. I didn't know this because I couldn't see them, but they actually put each baby in a plastic bag to help them retain their body heat. Dr. Lin (the neonatologist), the NICU team, and Blake went upstairs to the NICU. The back, emergency elevator to the NICU was apparently beside the waiting area where our families were waiting for news. The team paused briefly to let our families see the babies and then Blake, the babies, and the team went upstairs. I don't have all of the details about what happened next because I didn't see the babies after that for almost 24 hours.
I was taken to recovery where they tried to stabilize my breathing. I remember them telling me that I needed to take deep breaths and I just couldn't. I also remember being freezing cold. That actually continued for weeks after the delivery. Most people I had talked to about postpartum told me they were so hot from the hormone changes after being pregnant, but I was constantly frozen. After about an hour, Blake was able to make his way back downstairs, talk to our families, and then come back to where I was. One of our NICU nurses, Heather Duncan (a different Heather than my maternity nurse) had written the babies weights, lengths, and head circumferences on a sticky note and Blake had that for me. They were doing tests on the babies and hooking them up to everything and it was just something that parents didn't need to see. I remember telling Blake to text people and let them know that the babies had been born. Blake went back upstairs and my mom came back to stay with me. Dr. Mason told us that I would be on 24 hours of magnesium as treatment for the preeclampsia. I wouldn't be able to get up out of bed for that amount of time. The only thing I could think was that meant I wouldn't be able to see my babies. I was in recovery for three hours and was finally stable enough to go back to my room, but was still on oxygen. My nurse, Heather, was there and continued to be wonderful. She taught me how to use the breast pump. I started pumping right away and pumped every 2-3 hours after that for the next four months. Pumping was something tangible that I could do for my babies even while I wasn't able to be physically near them. Those hours without seeing them were horrible. I felt like I couldn't breathe - literally and figuratively at that point. But I was determined to do everything that I could to see them as soon as possible.
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